just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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