why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
