No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
