threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
