That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
