I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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