I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
