He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
