I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
