I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
