Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
