my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
