She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
