I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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