PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
