it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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