My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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