ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
