I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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