Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
