my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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