She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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