He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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