I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
