office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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