so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
