Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize