So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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