Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
