Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
