Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
this boner is exhausting
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
