Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
