Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
