I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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