the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
You did what with his pubic hair?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
