So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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