If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
organizing the empties. That sober.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
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