dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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