drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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