So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
