let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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