Sober January is a disaster.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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