a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
