Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
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explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
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The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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