I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
