talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Randomize