I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
