yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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