What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
