Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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