He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
