why do cheetos always look like penises
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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