Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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