haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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