I can't breathe out the right side of my face
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
