yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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