did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
