Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
