.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
