I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
