I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize