So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
