I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
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