I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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