He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
